


The Gods May Throw the Dice

by OnceInABlueMoony



Series: Regulus Black Needs All The Love [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Regulus Black, At Least They're Trying., Biromantic Regulus Black, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Sirius Black, It's so true, Multi, Regulus Black is a Good Sibling, Sirius Black is a Good Sibling, Unreliable Narrator, gays flock together, no beta- we die like dobby, or LGBT, why isn't that a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceInABlueMoony/pseuds/OnceInABlueMoony
Summary: It starts when sixteen year-old Sirius Black was thrown from his house by his homophobic parents and taken in by his Uncle.In starts when eighteen year-old Regulus Black leaves a note and goes in search of a life he will be happy living.Now, in 2018, they struggle with love, life, and everything else that the universe throws at them.In which, Sirius is confused but supportive, Regulus can't believe how stupid his brother is and Remus wants to know what the hell he's gotten in for.Also starring: an exasperated boyfriend, supportive lesbians, lots of coffee, and a shared love of Colin Firth.Or a mostly fluffy, low-key drama attempt at minimal angst, detailing love, loss, acceptance and everything in between.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black/Evan Rosier, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Regulus Black Needs All The Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831711
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Prologue: 2012

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Regrettably. Title is from The Winner Takes It All by ABBA.

Everything on Grimmauld Place was quiet. It was a well-to-do street in the nice part of London and all the people where well-to-do people that didn’t really interact with each other. Unless of course, it was to say a polite good morning when they happened to exit their houses at the same time. 

It did not happen often.

And so there was no-one around to see when a door opened at number twelve and boy flew down the heavy stone steps almost as if he’d been flung. He tripped at the bottom, landing in a heap. The door slammed shut.

Carefully, the boy picked himself up, rubbing a hand across his split lip. His dark curly hair blew across his eyes as he glared up at the imposing facade of his house. And then he turned. His shoulders hunched up to his ears against the wind. Slowly, he trudged away from Grimmauld Place. 

He did not look back.

And no-one saw when another boy, shorter and slimmer and stood on his tiptoes, let the net curtain fall back into place.


	2. Act I, Scene I: You're Enchained By Your Own Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Act I, Scene I: Two brothers, both alike in temper, In busy London, where we lay our scene, From childhood grudge break to new understanding.
> 
> Eventually. They're trying.

His eyeliner was ruined. Reaching again for the tissue box, there were dark smudges across his fingers. The black nail varnish he’d painstakingly painted on had chipped. It would have to be redone.

Yet another sob tore from his chest.

“Pathetic.”

Balling up the sodden tissue, Sirius lobbed it at his brother. “Thanks, Reggie.” 

His voice was thick in his throat.

Regulus shifted, dithering in the door. No doubt, Sirius’ blatant show of emotion was making him uncomfortable.

Regulus was dressed for a night out. With light make-up, _ when had Regulus started wearing that? _ , and tight fitted jeans that Sirius knew better than to comment on. A mulberry scarf was wrapped around his neck and silver gleamed in his ears. He gave, overall, the appearance of trying but not too hard.

If Sirius didn’t know better, he’d say his unsociable baby brother had a date.

“Well, really.” Regulus said. “You didn’t even like the guy.”

That was-

That was true.

Sirius hadn’t been going out with Kevin long. They’d hooked up at a bar; gone on a few dates. He wasn’t the worse guy Sirius had ever dated but he wasn’t the best either.  _ Even still, that bar was low. _ To be completely honest, he’d been trying to think of reasons to stay in the relationship.  _ He hadn’t managed very many. _

There was something off about Kevin that Sirius didn’t quite like. Maybe it had been the sneer in Kevin’s voice when ordering at a restaurant or the way he’d  _ accidentally _ knocked over a homeless man’s change. 

And the disdain in Kevin’s tone when Sirius had to cancel a date because Regulus was having a wobble and really needed him to stay home, well it was a turnoff. No matter how hot the guy was.

But there hadn’t been a concrete reason for Sirius to dump him so he’d been going to end it nicely tonight. Say something like he just didn’t see them together in the long run or some cliche shit like that.

Or at least he had been until Kevin had dumped him.

By text.

Ten minutes before Sirius had been supposed to pick him up.

“Nicely was too good for the fucker,” Sirius mumbled. He threw himself back on the sofa, rubbing his face against the arm.

Regulus snorted, moving into the room. He perched like a canary on an armchair.

“You keep dating trash guys and then getting upset when they prove to be shit. Quite frankly, I’m getting tired of it.”

“ _ You’re  _ getting tired of it?”

“Yes. I am.” Regulus said levely. “You have crap taste in men.”

“No, I don’t!”

Of all the bloody cheek. What did  _ Regulus _ know about dating? Bugger all that’s what.

“You do- you do. Else you wouldn't have dated Keith. He had  _ nothing _ going for him.” Regulus said vehemently. 

Well….  _ But his innocent baby brother didn’t need to know that. _

“You mean Kevin.” Sirius turned his head to watch his brother’s reaction. His cheek smushed into the make-up soiled sofa, smearing it across his face. He suppressed a grimace.

“What?”

“Kevin,” Sirius repeated. “Not Keith. Keith is a terrible name. I’d never date a Keith.”

There was a beat as Regulus visibly green-screened. He slid slowly from the chair. “That’s what I said. Kevin.”

“No,” Sirius was smiling now. “You said Keith.”

“Oh, whatever!” Regulus threw his hands into the air. “They’re both horrible names anyway.”

“Bold words from someone named Regulus.”

Regulus shot him a dirty look. 

From somewhere on his person, he pulled out a notebook. Regulus always seemed to have endless notebooks.

“Right,” he said. “Let’s make a list.”

“I’m not in the mood, Regulus.”

Regulus ignored him.

“Now, let’s see…” The pencil tapped twice on the paper. “What kind of guy should you date?”

Sirius could  _ hear _ Regulus neatly underlining the title. 

“Someone who fits your type but isn’t a complete scumbag. Someone funny? Someone-.... Come on help me out here.”

“No.”

Regulus stood abruptly. “Fine, continue sulking like a pathetic teenage girl! I don’t care.”

Good mood now gone, Sirius rolled over, presenting his brother with his back. He head Regulus sigh. There was the sound of light footsteps retreating.

Poke.

“OW!” 

Sirius threw himself off the sofa, glaring at his brother who apparently had not left the room. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Getting you off the sofa,” Regulus said, face unrepentant. He frowned as he noticed the mess on the sofa. “Oh, look what you’ve done. That’s going to take forever to get out.”

“Regulus,” he said forcefully. “I don’t care.”

Flinging himself back down on the sofa; tears pricked at the back of his eyes.

Regulus didn’t get it. Didn’t get why Sirius was upset. Didn’t get that sometimes Sirius couldn’t deal with it.

Regulus was happy to be alone. He didn’t stay up at night, staring at the ceiling wondering if Mother and Father had been right when they’d called him unlovable. When they said someone like him would always end up alone. 

Mother and Father clearly hadn’t been happy in their relationship.  _ They’d hated each other and hated their kids more. _ Nor had Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella, and Uncle Alphard had lived and died alone. Maybe someone from a background like his wasn’t meant to…..

He was 21 and he’d never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month.

It was always:  _ I can’t deal with complicated _

_ You’re nice but I’m not looking for something permanent _

_ I can’t handle you _ .

Yeah, he had issues. Who didn’t with a childhood like his? But he was working through them. He’d been in therapy for the last six years. He had a job, money, stability. He’d even gotten his brother back, something he’d never thought would happen.

Life was good now, except-

He was alone.

“Siri….”

Really, Regulus was  _ still _ there? Sirius was going to snap at him in a minute.  _ Regulus never knew when to stop pushing, _ and then he’d have to deal with his brother’s wounded feelings for the next week. He couldn’t go back to cooking for himself.

“Look, Sirius… Why don’t I get Mamma Mia and the emergency breakdown ice-cream and we spend the evening in?”

“Thought you were going out,” Sirius spoke into the sofa.

“I don’t really feel like it.”

Finally, Sirius rolled over, squinting. Regulus retracted his hand where it had been hovering in the air above his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Sirius decided. “Go on then,”

✭

“I was cheated by you, and I think you know when! Dada da dah. Dada da dah.”

Regulus watched silently, nibbling at his ice-cream even as Sirius threw himself into the movie. His voice rose up slightly out of key.

Sirius had visibly cheered up the second Colin Firth had appeared. The triple chocolate ice-cream,  _ disgusting _ , had also helped.

Abba, Colin Firth and ice-cream: a sure-fire way to lift Sirius out a funk. Luckily, Mamma Mia provided two out of three and the ice-cream could be bought for £2.50 at the local co-op.

It released Regulus from the pressure of talking about feelings and all that crap. He wasn’t qualified for it. Yet Sirius kept on having emotional breakdowns. 

They’d watched Mamma Mia 12 times this year already and it was only September. Sirius could not be allowed to go on like this.  _ Regulus couldn’t go on like this. _

On screen, the song finished and Sirius settled back against the sofa. He shoved a scoop of ice-cream into his mouth. 

“Sphmmth mof erribble baims,” Ice-cream sprayed out as Sirus spoke suddenly, “Ha boo Meryl?”

Cringing away, Regulus grabbed a cushion to use as a shield. “Keep your mouth closed! And don’t speak when you’re eating!”

Sirius rolled his eyes as his jaw worked at his mouthful. When he finished, he stuck his tongue out opening his mouth like they do on I’m A Celebrity after they’d eaten Kangaroo penis. Regulus didn’t know why they did that. It was gross. 

“I said, speaking of terrible names, what about Meryl?” Sirius licked his spoon deliberately slowly.

Regulus resisted the urge to throw the cushion at him.

“Is Meryl bad?” He asked. Carefully, he put the lid on his ice-cream and placed it on the floor. “I mean it’s better than Muriel.”

“True that.” Sirius clicked his tongue. “Do you remember that old hag that used to show up at events and insult everyone?”

Regulus clutched at his cushion. His nails bit into his hand. “She said I liked like a drowned victorian child with tuberculosis.”

“But you are a drowned victorian child with tuberculosis.”

Fuck it.

Sirius cackled as Regulus flung the cushion at him.

“Sod off!”

The cushion sailed across the room, just narrowly missing Sirius’s head. It thumped harmlessly against the wall. Now, Regulus had no cushion.

It was Sirius’ fault. 

He scowled.

Sirius’ cushion, meanwhile, was tauntingly in reach.

“You know what I think is a terrible name,” He sneaked a hand along the sofa, leaning forward. “Colin. I mean that’s just cruel. If I was named Colin, I would- I would change my name.”

The plan was working. Sirius was gaping at him speechlessly. His attention held by the treacherous words from Regulus’ lips.

“Terrible to name a child Colin. You have to pity him.”

One finger glimpsed the edge.

And then- ah, mistake. Retreat. Retreat.

Sirius was standing up.

“Are you insulting OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR COLIN ANDREW FIRTH?” he screeched, doing a near spot-on impersonation of Walburga Black. _ Although Regulus would never tell him that. _

“No?” Regulus tried to retrieve his hand before Sirius could notice. “I would never. I was only saying that Colin, not necessarily Colin Firth, is a - ah- uh……. Unfortunate name.”

His fingers touched something cold. He grabbed it.

Sirius’ eyes narrowed.

“.......That’s okay then.” He sat back down again then leapt up as dancing queen began to play. “Friday nights and the lights are looooooooow.”

Regulus took the opportunity to take his hand back. The cold object had apparently been Sirius’ phone.

Risking a glance, he saw Sirius was fully invested with the movie. 

He opened the lock screen and keyed in 311196. Sirius birthday. _ Go figure. _

It opened to a photo of them at London Pride 2018. Sirius was vibrant, decked in rainbows with ribbons threaded through his long hair. He’d never looked more glorious. Privately, Regulus could now admit that leaving Walburga and Orion had been the best thing Sirius had ever done. Beside him, Regulus was looking uncomfortable with a tiny ally flag clutched in one hand. There was a teeny tiny smile on his lips. 

_ Ew, sentiment. _

“It’s the first time I knew you were okay with it,” Sirius’ voice broke into Regulus’ thoughts and Regulus looked up to see his brother watching him. 

“Okay with what?” Regulus asked.

“Me being gay.”

Regulus looked at the photo again. He hadn’t actually wanted to go to pride with Sirius. There was something awkward about being there with his brother. Like it was acknowledging all the homophobic shit that had poured out of his teenage mouth in a desperate attempt to please his parents. And maybe, he could admit now, part of it had been trying to combat his own sexuality crisis. 

“Can I have my phone back now?” 

“One second,” Regulus murmured. 

The screen vibrated under his thumbs as he keyed out an appropriately scathing message and pressed send. Number blocked. 

He handed the phone back to Sirius.

“Just congratulating Kevin on being rid of you.” he said. “Excuse me.”

Regulus left the room swiftly before he could see Sirius’ reaction. In his pocket, his own phone vibrated.

He glanced at it.

**Ev <3: ** You killed him yet

Closer to killing myself.

If I have to watch Mamma Mia one more time...

**Ev <3:** Don’t joke about that.

Sorry.

Sorry, I had to cancel.

**Ev <3: ** Don’t worry about it.

Something has to be done.

Plan: Get Sirius a Decent Boyfriend

So I Don’t Have to Watch Mamma Mia

Again This Year is a-go.

**Ev <3: ** Catchy Name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, so this is the longest darn thing I've ever attempted. I've got three/four arcs planned and I'm quite excited.  
> Reviews are very welcome :)


End file.
